


The Delirious Musings of One Nico di Angelo

by orphan_account



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Grew up too fast, Hazel's backstory and powers, He's such a little nerd, Leo's self-confidence issues, Like Piper's powers and their inherent ethical problems, Nico was injured in a battle (offscreen), Poor Nico, Pretty much all of Nico's issues, Warning: Some topics that are a bit sensitive to the Seven are mentioned, and now he's spilling his guts to the Seven, but so sad all the time, which is a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-09 20:19:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11676363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: An injured Nico spills his guts to the remaining crew of the Argo II, in all his nerdy, damaged little glory.





	The Delirious Musings of One Nico di Angelo

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson and the Olympians/Heroes of Olympus or related series, Marvel Comics, DC, Pokémon, The Pied Piper of Hamelin, Wonder Bread, etc., or any of their associated characters, settings, events, branding, or quotes; all rights belong to their respective creators/owners. The Grim Reaper and the Pied Piper (character) are public domain.
> 
> Warning: Nico is loopy and a little too honest. Some touchy subjects are dealt with, but nothing graphic or too disturbing.
> 
> Set aboard the Argo II, while it is sailing toward the House of Hades.

Everything was hazy. Fuzzy. He wasn’t sure what was going on. People—he should know them, shouldn’t he?—were standing over him and all around as he lay sprawled against a wall. They were talking, but they sounded really far away. _Really_ far away. Or like they were in a bubble. Or he was in a bubble. Something. Whichever. Not important. 

Every once in a while, a sound would pierce the bubble, sharp and bright and loud and obnoxious and _painful_. There was enough of that already, pain. Or there should be, a part of him was pretty sure. Something had happened. Not an accident, but like, a fight or something? Dunno.

He felt weird. Disconnected. Floaty—he was floating through the clouds. Floating, floating, he was floating, the other people were floating, everybody was floating, all together. On a boat? He had a vague idea that they were on a boat, but he couldn’t think why. He didn’t even like boats. Boats were . . . not his thing, they were . . . the sky guy’s thing.

The sky guy that was that one guy’s dad, the guy that had killed the, umm . . . whatever . . . needed . . . killed? The shocky guy, with the . . . yellow? hair (that wasn’t the right word, but it was funny and sorta right, ‘cause yellow like lightning—why was that so funny?—or yellow like sunshine).

No, wait, that wasn’t right, either. Boats and the sky didn’t go together. Except they did here?

Wait, where was he, who were these people, and what was going on? He tried to remember, but all he had were vague ideas, most of which didn’t make any sense, like being on a boat, but also in the clouds? Yellow hair? Something about jars and seeds? Wonder bread? (That didn’t have anything to do with Wonder Woman.) There were scary giants somewhere weren’t there? And spider people . . . not like Spider-Man, spider people. He didn’t want to think about the jars and the seeds and the scary giants and the spider people . . . think of something else . . . think of . . . Spider-Man, yes, that could work.

Oh, wait, someone was talking to him again. Focus, Nico. The goat guy, with the bat. “ . . . die on me, cupcake, because—“

“Because you’re Batman?” he interrupted. He didn’t really know why he blurted that out. It just popped into his head and right out his mouth. And he especially didn’t know why it had so much difficulty coming out, although the giggles probably didn’t help . . . Why was he giggling? The son of Hades does _not_ giggle. He cleared his throat to make the giggles go away.

Why was everyone looking at him funny like that? Oh, yeah, he said something . . . about Batman.

“What?” He didn’t know who said that.

“EXCUSE ME?!” He knew who said that. Coach.

Nico giggled again ( _Stop that!_ ) and did his best growly, dark night/Dark Knight voice (haha), “I’m Batman.” What was he doing? He figured those other people were wondering the same thing, ‘cause they were giving him funny looks. He was used to that, though . . . or . . . he used to be? He had another vague idea, this one that he’d been getting a different kind of weird looks lately.

“Nico . . .” He focused on curly hair and nice eyes, his sister ( _not Bianca, Bianca’s dead_ ), but she didn’t say anything else for another second. _Finally_ , she— _Hazel_ , that’s it; nice girl, that one—said, “Nico, are you alright?”

He frowned. “Fiiiinne??” No idea why she’d asked that. Did something happen? They were all just standing around talking, weren’t they? He scanned his foggy memory. Oh, yeah. Before that. Monster. Cool.

“Nico.” Yellow hair, again. Like sunshine and lightning. Oh, yeah, _Jason_. “What are you talking about?”

That’s a stupid question. How was he supposed to know? “Umm . . .” Oh, yeah, “Coach is Batman?” Didn’t he already say that? More or less?

He blinked up at them to see if that was what they wanted, but they were still making funny little confused faces. Nico sighed. Why did he always have to explain simple things to people?

“’Cause ‘e has a bat.” Nothing. Still. These people were useless. “Even though he’s not a man.” He took a second look. Coach was male. And an adult. And he was half humanoid or something. “Close enough,” he decided. “Batman.”

They still looked lost. Except for Coach. Coach looked upset. Oops. And now Coach was walking away with his hands in the air. Was that good or bad?

Everyone else was still looking at him, though, so he kept talking. He looked up at Jason, sunshine and lightning and fighting, and used his best announcer voice, “And you’re Thor, God of Thunder!” The voice dropped. “Or Pikachu, but probably Thor. They’re both yellow and lightningy, but Thor’s a god and he’s called The Mighty Thor, so that’s probably better.” Jason blinked, but he was looking at the other people now, not Nico. “Yellow’s not the right word, is it? For people. It’s . . .” Why was it so hard to find the right word? _Stupid floating brain!_ Oh. “Blond!” Jason touched his hair, so at least he was following _something_ , but he also shook his head, so he was mostly still lost. What a disappointment.

Nico decided they didn’t matter anymore and he was just going to talk to smart peoples who understand things. Himself.

“Thor’s Marvel and Batman’s DC, but who cares?” He gave them one more chance, to see if they cared. They still didn’t know what he was talking about. Bummer. “I don’t. Care. About the difference between Marvel and DC and crossing over and stuff. I care about Thor and Batman and you guys. I care about all the super-heroes. Marvel. DC. Real life. Doesn’t matter, really. You’re all swell, all you heroes. I think so, anyway. Gaia doesn’t. Think.” He snickered. “Haha, Gaia doesn’t think.”

Hazel stepped closer, kneeling down beside him and putting a hand on his shoulder. It was weird, it was like he could feel it, but also he couldn’t. It took him a minute to marvel at that. Marvel. Hazel.

“Hazel’s Magneto,” he blurted. Then he blinked in surprise and looked up at her. She looked surprised too. Huh. Some of the others looked confused, too. Leo looked upset, though. Nico thought he should probably be upset about that, but mostly he was glad someone knew what he was talking about for once on this stupid floating boat. Oh, he should probably fix the upset bit though, wouldn’t want to lose the only person who was actually following this . . . conversation or whatever. “Even though he’s a bad guy in the comics.” Now everybody looked upset and Frank was being kinda scary, but they should just let him _finish_. “ _Hazel’s not_.” He glared at all of them for good measure. Rude not to let him finish. Ruder to think he would call Hazel a bad guy. Ruder . . . er if they thought she _was_ a bad guy. Not cool. What if Hazel thought that, too? “I love you, Hazel,” he told her. “I love my _sister_.” She needed to know that. All of that. That he loved her and that she was his sister, even though she wasn’t Bianca and he didn’t know her as long. She started crying a little, but that wasn’t so bad. Girls did that. Just to be sure, he added, “You’re _good_.” He glared at everyone else again. Some of them nodded at him, so he figured they understood. He could take care of it later if they didn’t. Killing them would probably be a little harsh, but something. Anyway, “You’re old, too, like Magneto, and you control all the metal.” He glared at them all, just to be sure and said again, “But you’re good, not like Magneto.” Frank hugged Hazel, so that was good. Oh, she was crying harder now. What. “You’re a good person, so that makes it okay to have scary powers. Like Piper.”

Piper jumped a little. Aha, now she was listening. He looked up at her. “Piper’s the Pied Piper.” Now it was Jason who was being scary. Why was everyone getting all touchy about this stuff? All he was doing was stating facts. “Same name.” Didn’t help anything. Whatever, let them be upset if they wanted to. Nico had a point to make here. “That’s not why she’s the Pied Piper, though—well, it kinda _is_ why, but it’s not the _main_ why—I mean, reason. The main _reason_.” He practically started singing the next part, “That’s ‘cause your pretty voice like music makes all the people want to dance to your tune. Whatever tune you want.” Jason growled at him; Nico growled back. Leo was just looking at him with his eyes all squinched up angry-like, the _malocchio_ —he made the sign of the cross, just in case. “It’s okay, though. It’s okay to have a scary power if you’re a good person. The Piper—the other one—he did good things with his powers, too, ya know. The rats. Everyone always forgets about the rats, but he got rid of those, too ‘Rats! They fought the dogs and killed the cats.’ Those are big rats. And the Piper took care of them. Poof! Gone. No more rats eating your cheese and your babies or whatever. No more problems. And you’re good, so only good stuff . . . you do . . .” That sentence hadn’t gone as well as intended, but he thought the general message had gotten across because Jason wasn’t being scary and Leo was messing with his little metal bits and bobs again. Piper was crying, though. What. In. Hades. What is with girls and the crying?

Quick, Nico, distraction. Someone who won’t cry. Someone who won’t get angry at the comparison. “Percy’s Aquaman,” he blurted, “duh.”

They were nodding, good. Nobody’s mad, everybody’s following, he’s on a roll.

“Frank’s Beast Boy.” He had to think for a minute, ‘cause that wasn’t quite right. “But not green. That makes him better, I guess. Wait, does that make Hazel Raven?” That required serious thought. Raven’s dad was a demon . . . Hazel’s dad was the king of the Underworld . . . they were both nice even with a dark past . . . they both had scary powers . . . Huh.

Oh, he’d lost them again. Someone else then. Well, he’d had decent luck with boys so far, with the not-crying, so that meant Leo was next. “Leo . . .” Okay, he had to think about this one. Leo put his spare parts away again, like he had when he was mad about the Piper thing, so he had to think fast. “Leo’s the Human Torch. Or Iron Man. Or, like . . . a cross between the two? They both make people laugh, which is good, and Leo’s funny, too.” Leo grinned that wide, goofy grin and waggled his eyebrows and Nico giggled again ( _Don’t start that again!_ ). “The Human Torch has flame powers like Leo, and Iron Man is smart and everybody needs him all the time to fix stuff and keep everybody going and stuff and everybody _loves_ him. Mostly. Like Leo. But the coolest thing about Iron Man is his flying suit and Leo doesn’t have a flying suit. Yet. Leo doesn’t have a flying suit yet. Hey, Leo! Build a flying suit. Thanks.

“Maybe Annabeth’s Iron Man. ‘Cause she’s smart, ya know? But maybe not, cause she doesn’t have a flying suit, either. There are other smart people, though. Like Peter Parker, but he flies, too . . . and he has that spider thing . . . That’s not Annabeth. Reed Richards? He’s smart, but he’s also stretchy. Is Annabeth stretchy? I’ve never seen her stretch. Or flexible, I think that’s the word, maybe . . . Nevermind, lots of smart superheroes.” He had to think through the whole lot of ‘em, too, to find one that suited Annabeth. “I know! Annabeth’s the Hulk!” They were making faces again, talk quick. “Not the Hulk, _Bruce Banner_. Bruce Banner _and_ the Hulk, all of ‘em. ‘Cause Banner’s smart. He’s a doctor. Not a doctor with needles, but a sciencey doctor. He’s smart and people always underestimate him ‘cause he looks like just a weak little nerd, like Annabeth looks like just a normal blonde girl, but then when he’s angry he’s actually the Hulk. Who’s scary. Like Annabeth.” Percy laughed. Annabeth hit him, but at least he laughed. Nico still had a problem, though.

“But what about Iron Man? No one has a flying suit?” Leo shook his head and the rest of them just stared at him like useless idiots. “Leo has a flying ship, though,” he said. “Made from a flying dragon, which is pretty cool. And Jason has a flying person.” Even Jason still seemed lost. Pity, he’d seemed nice enough. “Jason can fly . . . but Percy has iron skin . . . but they’re not the smart ones . . .”

“What’s your problem?” a really loud voice suddenly said right next to Nico. It was Coach Hedge and he was scowling, but it was just his normal scowl, not a super angry scowl, so Nico ignored it and paid attention to what the goat-man was carrying.

“Oooohh, fooood,” he crowed.

Everybody laughed at him, but he didn’t care because Coach gave him some of the yellow stuff that tasted like Mama’s spaghetti. He started nibbling at it slowly, even though he couldn’t really remember why he had to go slow, but Leo interrupted him. “Hey, Nico,” he said. “Who are you?”

Nico tried to focus. Leo had just said his name and then asked him who he was? Didn’t he already know if he was saying his name? Oh, like the character-peoples. Which one was he. That was easy. “The Grim Reaper.”

_(Even by demigod standards, Nico di Angelo grew up entirely too quickly.)_


End file.
